The Eleventh Day of Conflict, er, I mean Christmas: 11 Great Expectations
14 Dec 2011 1 Comment
How many of you sit, the day after opening gifts—or even while opening gifts—and think to yourself, ‘was alcohol involved in this purchase? Or what on earth were they thinking when they bought this?’ Am I the only one who thinks like this? Perhaps I seem shallow in discussing the gifts, but it’s not really the gifts per se but what the gift giving sometimes seems to communicate about the relationship. More often than not we say gift giving but the expectation seems to communicate otherwise! Maybe we should all say gift exchanging. We all desperately want to be loved and appreciated and when someone gives us a gift that screams 5 minute purchase, we wonder how important our relationship really is. Or what if you spent hours working on gift for someone and they don’t seem to really appreciate all the thought, time and energy you put into it? This, my friend, is unmet expectations. And in my experience, there are usually more than eleven each year.
I cannot meet everyone’s expectations and nobody could ever meet all of mine. I take comfort in knowing that even Jesus had to deal with unmet expectations. Once, while Jesus was speaking to a crowd, his mother and brothers were outside asking to speak to him (Matthew 12:46). I think their expectation was for Jesus to say, “come on up to the front of the line” but instead his response was, “who is my mother, and who are my brothers? Those who do the will of my father in heaven, they are my brothers and sisters and mother.” Whoa! That is NOT the response I would have been looking for if I’m his momma. That didn’t seem like a very nice thing to say. Jesus’ response perplexes me to no end!! As I think about it, I realized there is usually more to what Jesus says than what is seems.
So, I asked myself, “What are some ways that I can lower my expectations of others? How do I respond to others expectations?” Jesus didn’t always respond in this manner. There is the time during the wedding at Cana in John 2:2 when Jesus responded to his mother’s expectations by doing what she asked of him. So, there must be a formula to how I react in each situation and with different individuals. Well, maybe not a formula, but at least some principles. Let me suggest some possibilities:
- A knee jerk reaction is not the wisest. Praying and seeking wisdom with each individual interaction should be our goal.
- Each response will be different and both parties may not always be pleased with the outcome.
- When your expectations are not being met, ask yourself how you would desire to be treated in the same situation. Could something in the person’s life be causing them to not meet your expectation? And, is it really the end of the world if what you wanted to happen, doesn’t happen?
- No matter what decision you come to—always respond to the individual with humility!
What individual situation are you going to pray about today? Ask God to give you ‘the wisdom of Solomon’ in that situation so you can ultimately glorify Him in your response.
Tomorrow, we’ll be talking about the Tenth Day of Christmas: 10-der Relationships.
The Twelfth Day of Christmas-12 Krispy Kremes
13 Dec 2011 Leave a Comment
The Twelfth Day of Christmas: 12 Krispy Kreme Donuts
Have you ever gone to one of the Krispy Kreme donut locations? The locations where they actually bake the Krispy Kremes right there? The aromas of vanilla mingled with warm sugar that tickle the nose and tantalize the taste buds. Are you salivating yet? I had a friend that went and bought one dozen glazed Krispy Kremes one morning. She thought she’d have just one on her drive home, or maybe two. But, before she knew it she had consumed ten of the glazed yum yums that had previously occupied that coveted Krispy Kremes box. Horrified, and afraid her husband would never let her live it down, she decided that it would be best to finish the final two and be rid of the evidence. Eating the final two was not as easy as the first ten—she had a sick feeling in her stomach. She could feel the bile rising up in her throat. The insulin rush in her body went to her cheeks and made her flush. She had to force down the last two Krispy Kremes. It was an act of will to get and keep them down. A task of mind over matter.
That story reminds me of getting revenge. Revenge smells so good as we plot it. It tastes oh so sweet as we begin to think through our plot. But, after awhile, nausea sets in. We begin to feel the consequences of our actions. We tell ourselves that we will feel better but in the end, we only feel worse. Why do you think that is? In the same way God created our stomachs to be repulsed after gorging ourselves on a dozen Krispy Kremes, God created our souls to be repulsed by revenge. In Romans 12:19, God says ‘vengeance is mine.’ God will take care of making sure His children are protected and cared for. Does that mean every time that someone does you wrong that God will strike them dead? We might wish it were so on some days, but, no, the promise is that God will do what HE knows is best. Perhaps vindication will happen later in their life—perhaps it won’t ever happen in your lifetime. Part of trusting our heavenly Father is taking Him at His word and trusting He knows what is best. Does it make it easy? No. But, I can tell you from experience—it is always the best route to take in life.
Tomorrow–11 Great Expectations!
The 12 Days of Conflict, er, I mean 12 Days of Christmas
12 Dec 2011 Leave a Comment
The last several years I’ve noticed I’ve really started to dislike the Christmas season. Not just dislike or disdain, but really loathe the season … like the Grinch. It used to be my favorite holiday. My Christmas newsletter would be put together and mailed by December 1st. Christmas shopping? Often done by November. What happened? What happened that makes me cringe when the month of December approaches? As an analytical thinker, I decided to research what was going on in my heart and head and see if I could come up with a logical answer. My findings might surprise you.
Wanting to really enjoy this Christmas season, and enjoy it for the right reasons, I decided to write about the 12 Days of Conflict, I mean The Twelve Days of Christmas. Not just conflict with family members during the holiday but also conflict that is stirring within me because of my humanness. I am not perfect—I cannot please everyone, or make all the right decisions. How do I deal with the inner conflict within myself? As I journey, what can I do to assuage the grief that comes with my imperfections as they arise, and can I minimize the effect on those around me that I love?
Over the next twelve days, I will be visiting the many issues that seem to come up during the holiday seasons. Getting even—expectations—tender relationships—verbal fights—judging others—forgiving someone—and that filter between the brain and mouth that occasionally doesn’t work, just to name a few. I discovered there are exactly 12 issues…okay, there are probably a few more, but in the interest of history, I will keep it to the 12 Days of Conflict, I mean the 12 Days of Christmas.
Join me as I think through issues in my life. I don’t know you personally, but I suspect we are all a lot more alike than we are different. Feel free to let me know how your journey is progressing.
I can’t wait to get started! Tomorrow, 12 Krispy Kremes….
Holiday Family Gathering Conundrum
20 Nov 2011 2 Comments
in Uncategorized Tags: Christmas, Christmas and holiday season, DNA, Family, Forgiveness, Gift, Holiday, holiday family gatherings, stress, Thanksgiving
I have started hearing it when I walk through the stores, stand in line for groceries, and talk to co-workers. It may be said differently, expressed in a plethora of ways by all, but has the same meaning and connotation no matter how it is communicated. It doesn’t matter where you live, who you are, or how much money you earn, it is universally felt. If you have family, and you celebrate the holidays, you are about to enter a season of life that may include groaning, crying, screaming, grinding of your teeth at night or simply medicating yourself to cope.
It is the holiday season—a time of year when families that have been brought together by no fault of their own, not of their choosing, but simply because of DNA, are guilted into spending time with people they may purposely avoid the rest of the year. Don’t get me wrong. I KNOW there are families that actually like one another. But, that seems to be the exception, not the rule.
The longer I live, the more I become aware of the baggage that continues to build the longer a family has known each other. The first few years are like the honeymoon stage. Apologies are quickly given and forgiveness easily extended. But what happens if true forgiveness is not extended? Eventually, a mound of bitterness, that has been hidden in the dark festers, bubbling up and eventually erupts out of nowhere like a volcano. Whether you are the eruptor or the eruptee, the fallout is not pretty.
So, how can we make these holiday season interactions different from the previous ones?
- Our first option is to move far away and ignore anyone that might possibly set us off or be set off by us. Not being much of a people person, this option is my favorite. But we were designed to be social beings, so I’m not sure this is a very viable option.
- Our second option is to keep short accounts with our relatives. We need to not only make sure we are letting people know when they’ve hurt us-in a tactful loving kind of way, but to make sure when we extend forgiveness to others for hurting us that we have truly forgiven. Let me preface by saying forgiving does not mean forgetting. Forgiving means not bringing it up again…to the offender, to others or even ruminating it over and over silently in our own minds.
- Our third option is to remember the proverb, ‘even a fool is considered wise when he keeps silent.’
What if the hurt and pain feels like a lump of coal deep down inside of me and I’m not sure I can ‘play nice’ this year at the family gathering? It seems that every couple of years I receive an email bomb in the mail from one particular relative and each year it gets more and more difficult to diffuse. This year, not even the best SWAT team could have saved me from this blast. Therefore, our family has decided collectively that perhaps it’s best to sit this holiday gathering season out for a change. The great thing about coal is that under pressure, heat and stress it transforms into a beautiful diamond…but the transformation takes time. If there is a person in your life that you need to take a time out from—take the time. There is nothing heroic about being pummeled over and over again each year. Don’t be afraid to say, “You know what, this year it’s just not going to work for us to come over. But thank you for the invitation.” Getting into the proverbial ring with them and duking it out will not help anyone. You might feel better for the moment but once the interaction is over and done with, the wounds that have been given and received will leave permanent emotional scars.
What about you? Are you a diamond in the rough? Or are you the doing the roughing up? What will you do today to make this holiday season different from last season?
Are Your Holiday Family Gatherings More Prickly than Polite?
18 Nov 2011 Leave a Comment
Have you ever played the word association game? Lets try~I say chocolate, saliva develops as you sternly bark….’get me some!’ Or, I say ‘fruitcake’ and you say, ‘that wouldn’t even make my dog drool. Move on.’ What if I say, “family holiday gathering?” Be honest. Do you start perspiring even though it’s 65 degrees? Your eyes start to glaze over as you painfully realize Christmas is just around the corner. You are about to spend hours with people who don’t really like you. In fact, the family tree may be the only reason they gather with you at all.
At Christmas we ponder Jesus as light of the world. But, Matthew 5 states that we, Jesus’ followers, are the light of the world. Is it possible to be the ‘light of the world’ while spending time with family members? Yesterday while I was shopping, I gave the lady behind me in line 2 of my extra coupons. You would have thought I had given her a $20 bill. She was elated. That was easy. Why is it easier to be a light for Christ with a stranger? What happens to that thoughtful spirit in me when I get around my relatives? What is there about us that can be so stubborn about demanding our way when we are with family? Do I demand more from my relatives? Am I a poor communicator? Do my actions corroborate my words or discredit me?
Recently I had to answer these questions when I received a email from a family member that left me shaking. Angry. Hurt. Angry. Disgruntled. Angry. Hopeless. Did I mention ANGRY? It, however, was not a righteous anger. I had to ask myself why the letter caused so much anger within me. Perhaps it was because some of the things in the email were painfully true. Initially, I chose denial fervently building a case for myself of all the things in the letter that were not true. Not a good plan. Fortunately, after much prayer and seeking counsel, I snapped out of denial mode.
Many of the things in the email were not necessarily true, but the result of poor communication. But, regretfully, some of the things were true. My pride did not want to see where I was not being Christ like. Baggage from past interactions prevented me from loving as Christ calls me to love. But when I sought counsel and realized my actions were causing pain in the life of someone, I discovered that I needed to confess those things to God and ask His forgiveness. More importantly, I needed to ask my relative for forgiveness. That, my friend, was not an easy task. If I hear the word apologize the first thought that comes to my mind is, “Gulp, how do you eat an elephant?” Well, as I tell my girls, “you eat an elephant one bite at a time.” What do the first bites look like? Let me suggest the following.
- Read Scripture. Perspective is everything and nothing provides perspective like God’s word. We need perspective when asking if there is something I have done to cause conflict in this relationship.
- Go to the Person. No emails. No texts. Communication is 90% non-verbal and only 10% verbal. If distance prevents a face to face interaction, make a phone call.
- Listen. Listen. Listen. Did I say listen? Our tendency is to defend ourselves. Resist this temptation. God is your defender and protector.
- Admit Wrong. I had to say, “You are right. I have___, would you please forgive me?”
- Make a Commitment. Tell the person you will try and not commit the offense again and take the necessary steps to back up your words. For me, the culprit was poor communication. I made a commitment to call in the future and not rely on others to communicate for me.
Does it work? A few weeks after our interaction, our families had the chance to get together. Instead of dreading the interaction, I went with hope that things would go better than they have in the past. I felt God’s peace and joy in doing what He has called me to do. Was it easy? No. Were there times I needed a breather and needed to be alone? Yes. But, I can honestly say I had a great time and am not dreading our next family get together.
What about you? Do you need to go to someone before that family holiday gathering and make things right? If so, here may be some utensils to help you eat that elephant one bite at a time~
◦ Read scripture
◦ Go to the person
◦ Listen. Listen. Listen
◦ Admit wrong
◦ Make a commitment
I would love to know how your ‘meal’ went over the holidays. Please comment or email and let me know!
There Are Only Two Kinds of Fair
16 Sep 2011 Leave a Comment
in Uncategorized Tags: fair, life isn't fair, two kinds of fair
My husband always says there are only two kinds of fair in the world; the State Fair and the County Fair. Either way, I love BOTH of those kinds of fairs. For the past ten years, my daughters and I have entered our art work in the county fair. It all started when the elementary school they attended began entering their art work in kindergarten. They would win a ribbon and prize money so I would frame the art and the cash and hang it proudly in our home. My laundry room is currently brimming with artwork they have done over the years. This year was no different.
My eldest daughter has a penchant for cooking and quilting, while the younger enjoys painting. They both obsess over photography and enjoy coming up with creative ways to capture that unusual vantage point. Competitive at heart, they both relish Friday morning at the fair when the judges have spoken and ribbons are displayed. The great thing is they get to bring their masterpieces home and add them to their collection. As we brought our masterpieces home, I got to thinking about those who raise cattle to be auctioned off at the fair. What about their ‘masterpieces’ they’ve worked so hard on?
I spoke with a mother whose son had raised cattle for the fair from the time he was 8 years old. They purchased the calf and her son was responsible for its complete care. Feeding, grooming, cleaning, and the list goes on. I would imagine that after a year of spending an enormous amount of time caring for this animal that he would become very attached. His mom went on to explain that the first year he entered his calf was the most difficult. Once it had been auctioned off, the reality of the situation began to sink it. His beloved pet was about to be no more, except a steak divvied up at market… I imagine the boy’s eyes brimming with tears as the high bidder bridled the prize he had named Buddy and began to load it into his trailer.
This scenario made me think of another story I’ve heard many, many times. It’s the one of Eve chatting with the serpent in the Garden of Eden. Have you ever asked yourself what on earth she was doing chatting it up with a snake???
Before the fall of man, Adam and Eve not only walked with God in the cool of the Garden, but with the animals, as well. I love they could apparently they could talk with the animals! This is MY ideal paradise. I love animals—well, minus snakes—are they really even considered animals anyway? I imagine having the best of both worlds—not only having some of the most amazing creatures as your very own pet but being able to communicate with them, as well. Having them outside is just another added bonus, but, I digress.
Adam and Eve loved these animals. They were like family pets. So, when God took the skin of one of these beloved pets to cloth Adam and Eve after they both sinned, they each felt a particular sting as the fur of caressed their skin each day. The consequence went deeper than just seeing that one of the animals had to be slaughtered for their disobedience. Each and every day they were reminded of what happens when we sin…we are not the only ones affected. Others around us are affected, as well.
If you have family pets, as you begin your day, imagine the pain you would feel if they had to lose their life because of your disobedience to God. Then make your decision: Choose today, to obey!
Perspective + Circumstance = Emotion
20 Jul 2011 Leave a Comment
Emotions are a funny thing. They evoke pleasure, they evoke pain. Happiness and sadness. Anger and indifference. Three weeks ago I was frustrated every time I looked out the window and saw that our cat had mots-ed up the windows again with his nose prints, just a little reminder of his presence. If only he’d not rub up against the window while looking out it, I wouldn’t have to waste my time washing those windows over and over again. Today, those same nose prints are there and I’m saddened by them. I long to leave them there. It was just a week ago that our poor kitty was diagnosed with liver cancer and we made that heart wrenching decision to put him to sleep.
Perspective feeds emotion—my perspective from a week ago has changed. My circumstances caused me to look differently at those nose prints and evoked an entirely different feeling. This caused me to wonder about other circumstances in my life. What other things am I looking at with the wrong perspective? Circumstances that are causing negative emotion and feedback in my life? Can I stop, take a moment to breath and look at both sides of the fence? When I look at ‘the green grass looks better over there’ view do I have the ability to step back and say, ‘but ah, this side of the fence allows for this and this and that?’
What about you? What circumstances in your life are causing you to look at life negatively? Can you change your thinking to look at the glass as half full? Try it and see if your perspective doesn’t just shift enough to stir your emotions to a healthier level.
E-Discipleship-Would the Apostle Paul be a fan?
14 Jul 2011 Leave a Comment
in Uncategorized Tags: e-discipleship, youth ministry
When you think of online social networking what comes to mind? Many of the older generation feel Facebook and other social networking sites are a waste of time and detrimental to relationships. In some ways, they are right… I’ve had more miscommunication with my family members through text messaging and emails than I care to remember. But, what about those people who you don’t know very well or you know well enough that they won’t take what you say out of context without the non verbal communication?
My husband and I have been apart of youth ministry for over 10 years. Facebook and text messaging has become an integral part of our communication with these students–those who are still in high school and especially keeping up with the ones who have graduated and are in college or now married. More often than not, when a former student needs advise they do not pick up the phone and call. Instead, they send a text or message us through Facebook. Last week, this whole phenomenon got my husband thinking about the aspects of this kind of communication. It sparked a thought in him and got us both thinking about e-discipleship.
If the apostle Paul were alive in 2011, how would he communicate with his followers and how would it be different from how he communicated to those in the first century. I think if we talked to Paul today, he would say that one on one communication is best. But in the first century, he could not have one on one communication with every person at every church he started. So he did the next best thing given the technology available – He wrote letters. When you compare his communication then–letters to his followers, to now, how would it differ? Would he still write letters? Would he send out an email, a text, or a Facebook message?
Don’t get me wrong. I still believe face to face communication is the best. But when you can’t communicate face to face, or even on the phone, isn’t a text message or a quick message on Facebook better than nothing at all? Food for thought.
Disclaimer (my husband is an attorney, so he will like this part) – If confusion or conflict becomes escalated in your e-communication, stop what you are doing and go to that person IN PERSON. The relationship is far too important to let miscommunication destroy it.
What the Body Worlds Exhibit Taught Me about God
23 May 2011 Leave a Comment
in Uncategorized Tags: Body Worlds, God, How to have a relationship with God, relationship with God
My daughter and I attended the Body Worlds and the Brain exhibit over the weekend. She aspires to be a doctor some day and has been chomping at the bit to see this display since it came to Arizona several months ago. As we planed out day, we asked several people how long they needed to tour the exhibit. After hearing from several, we decided four hours should do it. On Saturday, we were wearing comfortable shoes, with several hours to take in all the exhibit had to offer as well as get our monies worth.
Well, it was a mistake going on a Saturday. There were so many people, we were pretty sure that the fire code was being ignored. To boot, we’re both a bit claustrophobic when it comes right down to it. We decided to strategically make our way through the cases—we had a brilliant plan. The bodies in the exhibit are cadavers that have been sealed through a process called plastination. It is amazing how you can see the detail from the human body whether it is nerve endings, organs or muscle tissue. I must admit because it’s real and so detailed, that I’m not sure I’ll be able to eat red meat until the vision has left my memory. The exhibits explain how exquisite the body is and how it functions— my 13 year old daughter looked up at me and said, “how can anyone believe in evolution when they look at how the human body is designed?” Truly we are insignificant when you look at the Great Designer who created it all.
The display that really caused me to see how intricate the body is designed was the fetal room where a woman and her 5 month old baby had been forever contained in plastic. As you looked at each stage in a separate glass case of the fetus from 1 week old developing to 40 weeks old, I was again reminded of how exquisite the human body is designed and how amazing the creation of life is.
When we arrived at church on Sunday, our pastor spoke on this very topic. How God is powerful, passionate, and how we should live moment by moment with recognition of God’s loving presence in our lives. One of the rather morbid things about the Body Worlds display was when the bodies had hair that had been preserved on their bodies. Yet the Bible tells us that God knows the number of hairs on our head. He knows that Tim has less today, than the day I married him. Does that seem insignificant to you? It wasn’t to God. He felt it was important enough to Him to let you know that YOU are important to Him, including the hairs on your head. If we are wandering through life wondering if God truly cares about us or even has any idea we are here on this earth, the resounding answer is YES! He knows and He cares. He desires to be intimately involved in your life—every aspect of your life including knowing how many hairs are on your head…or maybe for you it’s the lack there of when it comes to hair on your head. Either way, His desire is a relationship with you.
But how does this relationship work? Our pastor listed 6 things that are important when attempting to enhance our relationship with God.
- Keep watching. Most days we run helter skelter from one activity to the next and never even take a minute to pause to see God working in every day life. Whether it’s His indescribable creation or that car that ran a red light and nearly missed hitting you. He is there.
- Avoid distraction by ungodly things. When is the last time you caught yourself doing something that was completely pointless? My days are filled with those moments. I desire to be intentional using my time wisely for things that matter for eternity. Does this mean I never sit and play a game of angry birds on my phone? No, but it does mean that I don’t waste entire days saving birds from lemurs.
- Distinguish well between better and best. How often do we get caught up doing things for God that we don’t have time to just be with God? There are times in life when we need to take a step back and evaluate our motives of why we are doing what we are doing and also ask the question, am I doing what God truly wants me to do? More often than not we convince ourselves, if I don’t do it, it won’t get done. Perhaps next time we should be asking, if I do this, will I be robbing someone else the opportunity to serve God in an area they’re more talented than myself?
- Take public opinion only for what it’s worth. How often do we veg out in front of the TV watching shows that dis God or read articles by people who claim God is a crutch for those who are weak. For those of us who believe in the one true God know that He is for real. He is the real deal who has shown Himself to us in a plethora of ways.
- Work hard to keep yourself under control. Truly, most things in life you cannot control. When the dishwasher goes ca-put or when life brings tragedy in losing a loved one. But, you can control what goes on your calendar and making sure you schedule margin in your life so that when emergencies do come you aren’t ripping out all of your hair trying to figure out how you are going to have the time to handle it all. What are the non-negotiable things in your life? What are the things that can be erased or deleted from your calendar?
- Seek Godly support through the drawbacks of life. More than once my husband and I have found ourselves calling someone older and wiser than ourselves asking them what on earth they think we should do. Sometimes they have amazing wisdom and sometimes just the mere act of talking through the issue allows God to show us what He feels is the best avenue for us to take.
If you were to die tomorrow, and you donated your body to science so they could preserve you in plastination forever, would you be okay with how you are living your life today? With how you are spending your time? My daughter did great up until the time we got to the fetal room. Then everything changed for her. Rather than spending 4 hours touring the exhibit we spent an hour and a half. Life became more real to her there in that room. God showed her that life is precious and fragile…not to be taken lightly. It seemed irreverent to take an infant, plasticate it and put it out there for all to gawk at. Man can do what he will when it comes to plasticating humans, using cryogenics to freeze a body or even taking the life of an infant in uteri. But ultimately, God is still in control. He is powerful. He is passionate. But most of all, He desires a relationship with you! I promise He does. His Word tells us He does and one of the way He shows us He desires us to know Him better? He knows how many hairs we have on our head.
When Surviving Becomes a Game in Life
17 May 2011 Leave a Comment
in Uncategorized Tags: Boston Rob, Jeff Probst, Survivor
Survivor. When I mention the word, what thought comes to mind? Gloria Gainer’s song, I Will Survive? Breast cancer survivor? Or do you to think Jeff Probst? In our household, Survivor only means one thing. Eleven years, and twenty two seasons—along with names like Boston Rob, Russell, Jerri, Johnny Fairplay, and Parvati. Our family has scheduled our lives around watching the show with our best friends each week since the inception of Survivor. Jeff Probt’s dimples and receding hairline are as much a part of our lives as eating and brushing our teeth. There is always a little bit of sadness when a season comes to an end, an ultimate Survivor is named for the season and we have to wait until the new season begins months later. (And I wonder if my husband will apply again to be one of the castaways)
This season was no different for our family, but the questions asked after Rob Mariano was announced as the sole Survivor were different than previous seasons. It seemed this season, perhaps more than others, the producers focused on the friendships and bonds that are created when strangers are thrown into survival mode together for 40 days. Were the strangers different in personality this year or did the producers allow us to see what they’ve seen all along—whether you are playing a game on the field, on the court, or at a table, people are fragile individuals who are real people not just actors in a show. When a football player goes out on the field to play a game, is his attitude different than the individuals who are dropped in the middle of nowhere with strangers to play a game of survival? Should we fault players who have won Survivor by lying, cheating, blind-siding or stabbing allies in the back in an attempt to win a million dollars? It is a game, right?
Boston Rob declared he had spend 117 days physically playing Survivor and 10 years of his life masterminding how to win the game—perhaps even at the expense of his relationship with his wife, Amber, and his daughters. He also stated he went into the game with the attitude that he would do whatever it took to win the money for his family—there were no lines drawn in the sand for him. I wonder how Rob’s wife, Amber, felt about Rob snuggling up to two of the young women in an attempt to gain their loyalty?
Rob’s plan worked. Rob even blind-sided Grant, with whom he had a bond, as Jeff Probst intuitively noticed “like none other he’s seen over the years.” Yet Grant, even as a former NFL competitor didn’t look at Survivor as a game but as an opportunity—and being back stabbed was personal. Finally, everyone else thought Phillip was crazy, yet Rob saw something in Phillip no one else saw and befriended him. But, was befriending Phillip all a part of his mastermind plan or was he sincere in his friendship? I don’t have the answer to the questions—I guess for me it causes me to take a look at my life…at myself.
Now that Rob has won, what will he do now? Does he have integrity in ‘real life?’ What happens when someone ultimately is able to accomplish a major goal in their life? Will his life all of the sudden change for the better? Will the longing for something bigger in his life subside? Only time will tell. The bigger question for me is personal—I need to worry about me and not about everyone else. I need to be treating others as I desire to be treated not as I am treated. Only I am responsible for my behavior—not anyone else. What about you? Are you at a place in your life where the longing in your heart is being filled?
